


Sayonara, Tooru

by wynnindoubt



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:09:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25969456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wynnindoubt/pseuds/wynnindoubt
Summary: "You've been such a jerk since you left last week...after all this time I start asking why I'm staying. Were you ever mine?" -Painkiller by Beach BunnyOikawa is on to bigger and better things, but his love for Iwaizumi and his happiness will always be at the top of his list.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been dying for an IwaOi fanfic that I think captures both of their essence, and this is my rendition. This is my first fanfic, so please go easy on me and excuse grammatical errors and lack of detail. It will get better....I'm just a little rusty. I plan to do 3 parts (possibly more).

2pm Friday

“I’ve had feelings for you for quite some time now,” Oikawa told Iwaizumi nervously. 

Iwaizumi looked down not knowing how to digest the information, nor how to respond. 

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay. I just wanted you to know before I left,” Oikawa said quickly to shrug off the awkwardness. “With me leaving soon, I guess-“ 

“I love you,” Iwaizumi cut him off. 

Oikawa looked up slightly shocked from Iwaizumi’s confession, but it was short lived. 

“Not like that…at least I don’t think so. We’ve been so close for so long, so I can’t tell if my feelings towards you are strictly platonic.”

They both sat in silence while trying to figure out how to change the subject or form sentences of what they have been feeling. Both of them came up empty handed. Both of them felt empty. 

He’s leaving, Iwaizumi thought. I have to tell him, but what would that do to our friendship? If it were true, then what’s next? He’s leaving next week and what then? Do I actually have feelings for Oikawa, or am I just comfortable with him? 

Iwaizumi was deep in thought, pondering what love truly meant to him, while Matsukawa walked up to their table. 

“Typical. Let me guess…both of your phones died and you couldn’t invite me?” Mattsun joked while pointing down at both of the phones in their hands. He noticed how nervous the pair seemed and could feel the tension like static under his skin. “Jeez. Tough crowd today. Did you guys get in a fight or something?” Mattsun asked while taking a seat in the empty chair next to Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa couldn’t believe he actually heard Iwa say that to him. I love you. Iwaizumi’s voice played on a loop in his mind. He could feel his cheeks flushing red. “I’m actually going to head out. I need to get in as much practice as I can.” Oikawa sped off without a mere goodbye to the either of them. Why now? What terrible timing. 

Iwaizumi watched as Oikawa basically ran away from their favorite coffee shop. His wispy hair being tugged by the wind as he walked out of sight. I really feel like shit. This is not how I wanted to spend the rest of the week. Goddamnit. 

“Dude,” Mattsun said interrupting Iwa’s thoughts. “What the hell is going on? You both seem like…not yourselves. Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah…” Iwaizumi sighed, “no…what does love mean to you? How do you know if you’re in love?” 

“You are definitely asking the wrong person. What’s up though? Are you and Tooru in love with the same girl? Is that why I feel all of this tension?” Matsukawa questioned. 

“No. It’s not that,” Iwaizumi paused uncomfortably. Do I tell him what’s going on? Issei has always been a trustworthy friend. A friend who doesn’t judge. I have to talk to at least SOMEONE about this so I can make better sense of my thoughts. Iwaizumi took in a deep breath. “I told Tooru I love him…but ‘not like that’ and I don’t know if I meant it or if I was just shocked that those words came out of my mouth to him.”

Mattsun sat in silence for a moment collecting his thoughts. “You know, I have been waiting for this. To be quite honest, I’m surprised it took either of you this long to finally express anything on this matter. Don’t hate me for saying this, but I think you guys either need to fight or fuck each other to rid this tension. It’s ridiculously thick,” Mattsun laughed to himself for even suggesting that. “It’s only gotten worse since Tooru told us that he’s joining the Argentina team.”  
Iwaizumi looked up at Matsukawa with hurt in his eyes.  
“He’s your best friend. It’s normal to feel upset and confused when they leave,” Mattsun said while trying his best to comfort his friend. He’s only seen this side of Hajime a few times since knowing him. He’s always been so strong and supportive that when he does break down and show vulnerability, it’s serious. 

Iwaizumi sat with this information for a while before speaking. “I think it’s more than just friends, Issei. I think I love him and I’m scared because he’s leaving and I don’t know what to do about these feelings.”

“I think you need to go talk to him. Clearly his feelings towards you are more than friends. Did you see the way he was blushing when he left? It’s been obvious for so long. Tell him how you feel,” Matsukawa said as he leaned back into his chair while running his fingers through his messy hair. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

4pm Friday

I should take a break, Oikawa thought to himself as he was panting with his hands on his knees. At least that’s what Hajime would tell me. A bead of sweat rolled down his nose as he heard the gymnasium door creak open.

Oikawa couldn’t move. His body was so tired, his arms felt heavy, and his knee was bothering him a bit. He couldn’t run away like he truly wanted to. Plus, it’s Hajime. It would feel incredibly foolish to run away when it was just the two them in an empty gym. “Hey Iwa-Chan,” Oikawa’s voice came out softer than he expected. 

“Hey…uh, Tooru, could we go somewhere and talk?” Iwaizumi asked cautiously. 

They walked for a while before either of them spoke. Neither had a direction of where they were going. The fresh air felt nice on their heated cheeks. Iwaizumi looked up and realized they were on his street. He looked over to Oikawa who hadn’t noticed where they were. He was in his own little world. Probably thinking about Argentina or what he could have done better in his solo practice earlier, Iwaizumi thought. He’s too hard on himself. 

“Uh, so, we are on my street…do you just want to come inside and talk? My roommates aren’t home tonight,” Iwaizumi said as he walked up the driveway. 

I don’t know if I’m ready to have this talk so soon, Oikawa thought to himself. His heart started to pound in his chest and up to his ears. “I actually want to go home and take a shower first. I smell pretty bad.”

“You can shower here, and I’ll make dinner. I’m sure you’re hungry,” Iwaizumi said hoping Oikawa wouldn’t make another excuse to leave. His days are limited with Oikawa. It’s now or never. 

Reluctantly, Oikawa walked up the driveway to meet Iwaizumi in the doorway. “Oh, you do smell,” Iwaizumi laughed as Oikawa walked passed him, hoping to break the tension. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

“Oh, that smells so good, Iwa,” Oikawa moaned while standing behind Iwaizumi in the kitchen as he massaged his head with a towel. Iwa turned to find him in nothing but his boxers, his wet hair still dripping onto his shoulders. “You can borrow some of my clothes if you want,” Iwaizumi said as he turned back around to prepare the plates.  
He heard Oikawa’s footsteps on the stairs and noticed a slight pause between each step. He must have aggravated his knee again. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes to himself as he hurried to the freezer to grab an icepack. He topped the stairs as Oikawa was pulling an old Aoba Johsai t-shirt over his head. “Haha, I haven’t seen that shirt in a while. Wow,” Iwa laughed.  
Oikawa noticed the icepack. Oh, here we go…a lecture. “I’m fine, Iwa,” Oikawa said with a charming grin.  
“You need to ice it. Lay down and I’ll grab some pillows to elevate it,” Iwaizumi protested.  
Iwa quickly walked over to the hallway closet that stored all the extra bedding and retrieved two square shaped pillows. Doesn’t seem that Tooru is in any shape to leave tonight, so I’ll take the couch. Iwaizumi grabbed an extra pillow and blanket for himself. He returned to his room to find Oikawa wincing in pain with his hand on his knee. Iwa rushed over, placed the pillows under Oikawa’s knee, and a blanket with the icepack on top. “You’re fine, right?” Iwaizumi mocked. “Keep it here. I’ll be back with the plates.” 

Oikawa laid there feeling incredibly miserable. He was physically and mentally exhausted, and he still had to have a difficult conversation with his best friend. We are best friends. This shouldn’t be too hard if I keep that mentality, he lied to himself. I really don’t want things to change, but at this point it’s inevitable. I’m leaving. Nothing is going to be the same come next week. Oikawa was impressed as Iwaizumi returned with two plates and glasses of water delicately balanced on his muscular arms. His stern face covered in complete concentration. 

They ate in silence for the most part until Oikawa finally said, “I’m so sorry. I just thought that if I didn’t say anything, I would leave here with a heavy heart and constantly question ‘what if’. It was selfish of me. I realize that now. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It doesn’t even matter now. I’ve ruined our friendship.”

Iwaizumi looked towards Oikawa. His face was filled with guilt. I didn’t even have to say anything for him to realize? “Look, Tooru, I’m having a hard time just wrapping my head around all of this. That’s all. Our lives have been nothing but volleyball for so long that I forgot what it felt like to acknowledge romantic emotions. You’re moving on to bigger and better things and it scares me. I know you can do this, but I just-“ Iwaizumi’s voice trailed off into his thoughts of what to say next. “I don’t want you killing yourself. It makes me nervous. I care about you.”  
“Stop trying to be a parental figure to me, Iwa,” Oikawa huffed. “It makes me feel weird having feelings towards you.” 

“And that in itself makes me feel weird,” Iwaizumi retorted. “How’s your knee feeling?” Iwa asked trying to change the subject. It doesn’t feel like the right time to have the “I think I love you too” conversation quite yet.  
“It’s feeling slightly numb. The swelling seems to be going down a little bit. Thank you.”

“No problem. Do you want to watch something?”

“Sure.”

Iwaizumi turned the tv channel to a random volleyball match on ESPN. They both sat there “ooh-ing” and “ahh-ing” at every incredible serve and receive. 

11:00pm Friday

Oikawa turned to Iwaizumi who was scrolling through his emails on his phone.  
“What is it about me that makes it difficult to love me?”

Iwa laughed audibly. 

“Oh, c’mon! Am I that bad?”

“You suck.”

Oikawa looked at Iwa in disbelief. 

“Okay, okay. You’re not that bad, but you kind of are. You’re insecure and egotistical, and that in itself is difficult to work with,” Iwaizumi looked down realizing exactly why he’s been friends with him for so long. “Don’t let this go to your head, but you’re charming, intelligent, an incredible volleyball player, an extremely hard worker, and you’re just…” Iwa knew what he wanted to say, but saying it aloud would make it concrete and he was scared. 

“I’m just what? Perfect?” Oikawa asked arrogantly. 

“An ass,” Iwaizumi replied annoyed. 

Iwaizumi laid back into the pillows next to Oikawa. The only light came from the tv, and as Iwa shifted his head to look in Tooru’s direction he saw a tear gently fall onto his face. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

“I’m just going to miss you. That’s all,” Oikawa turned so he was face to face with Iwa, and more tears welled up in his copper colored eyes. 

“I’m going to miss you too.” Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s shoulder and squeezed it. He could feel a lump in his throat. Please don’t cry. Please don’t cry. Please don’t cry. 

Oikawa took Iwa’s shirt in both fists and buried his face into the other’s chest and proceeded to audibly cry. Iwaizumi grabbed the back of Oikawa’s head to comfort him. His hair was soft on his hand and his body heaved with every sob. Iwa could feel his heart breaking as the tears started to come. His eyes burned. They both lay there, comfortably fitting into each other’s curves, crying for what felt like hours.  
Once Oikawa controlled his breathing, he looked up to the other’s face. Iwa was completely stoic. The only evidence of pain was the single tear glittering in the moonlight from the window. “Iwa?” Oikawa whispered. 

Iwaizumi opened his eyes and looked to Oikawa’s reddened and puffy face, “Yeah?”. His voice came soft and hushed, like a soft landing pad for Oikawa to ask anything he wanted.  
“Do you remember when we were kids and how much fun we had? How carefree we were?”

Iwa smiled, “Of course.”

“I miss that. I miss not having expectations and just having fun.”

“But you’re about to go take over the world. ‘Tooru Oikawa’ I can see it now. Your name plastered over billboards, jerseys…everything."

“Come with me.”

“You know I can’t. I’m tied to Japan. Plus, I would need to get a visa, and I don’t even have any possible job opportunities out there. Or I haven’t looked into any, at least.”

Oikawa sank back down into Iwa’s chest. It was strong, but comforting. “I really do love you.”

Iwaizumi’s breath caught in his throat. His heart fluttered. His ears burned. He could feel his body become rigid with…what is this feeling? Do I feel the same? I’m not uncomfortable with him saying it now. It actually feels nice to hear it. It’s now or never. 

“I…I love you too, Tooru.”

His words came out like velvet and lingered in Oikawa’s ears. He slipped his arm around Iwa’s torso and pulled him closer. His warmth felt comforting. 

“Thank you, Hajime. For everything. You’re my biggest fan, my support, my…”

“I’m not your biggest fan. Have you seen some of the girls that drool over you?”

Oikawa sighed, “Those girls are just lusting after me, and don’t get me wrong, it’s very flattering, but they don’t know who I am. It was very apparent with my last relationship.”

Iwaizumi recalled the events distinctly. Oikawa would call him to come over while trying his best to hold back anger and hurt in his voice. Of course Iwa would rush over to comfort him.  
“I just don’t understand, Iwa,” Tooru would cry out. “Did I do something wrong? Am I the bad guy? I've played this game for years, it’s been my life, but now I get blamed for it…It’s not fair.”

“You’re such a jackass,” Iwaizumi barked. “It was idiotic to think a relationship would work with you. You’re always hyper focused on the game and your studies. You don’t even have the time to hang out with Makki, Mattsun, and I outside of practice. I get that you’re heartbroken, but suck it up. You were really shitty during practice today, and how are we supposed to get better as a team if our setter can’t set worth shit?!” Iwaizumi’s voice came harsh, but he meant well with his words. 

Oikawa laughed to himself. “You’re absolutely right. My apologies for sulking and calling you over. I just- can’t help but feel like I’m not worthy enough to be loved.” Oikawa sank into the couch and covered his face with his hands. 

Iwaizumi wanted nothing more than to slap Tooru across the face for what just came out of his mouth, but that sentence hit home a little bit for him. He’s always been eclipsed by Tooru’s good looks, his gameplay, and his confident and charismatic personality. 

“Hajime?” Oikawa’s voice snapped Iwa back into the present. 

“Hmm?”

“Good night.”

He must be completely exhausted. “Good night, Loserkawa.”

They both lay there giggling at the inappropriate timing and finally fell asleep softly; Oikawa’s face buried in Iwa’s chest while the latter’s fingers delicately laced through Oikawa’s hair. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

8am Saturday

The warm rays of the sun poured in through the window like honey as Oikawa woke. He rubbed his tired eyes and looked around noting several vaguely familiar objects. Oh yeah, I slept at Iwa’s, he thought. Oh my god! Hajime told me he loved me. His heart started to flutter as he pulled himself up to a sitting position. The spot next to him showed signs of where Iwa lay. Oikawa rubbed his knee tenderly. It still ached, but compared to yesterday, it’s feeling a lot better. I have to take it easy today, he reminded himself. He grabbed the thawed ice pack and crossed the bedroom. He could hear movement coming from the kitchen as he descended the flight. The smell of coffee filled the room.  
“Good morning,” Oikawa yawned as he rubbed one of his eyes with his free hand. 

“Oh, good, you’re finally up. Take a seat. I’ll make some breakfast,” Iwa said with a smile. 

Oikawa walked over to the freezer and casually dropped the ice pack back into its home. He sat on one of the bar stools and just watched Iwa taking the upmost care with every movement as he prepared fruit, eggs, and toast topped with avocado. Leave it to Iwaizumi to prepare the healthiest thing Oikawa has eaten all week. 

“Hey, Iwa-“

“I meant what I said last night,” he responded with an incredibly stern tone. 

Oikawa wasn’t going to say anything about that. He was way too anxious to bring it up, first of all, but he also didn’t want to ask just incase Iwa hadn’t meant it. So, ultimately he was relieved. He wanted to ask what they should do today. They both have the day free, so, uh, do you want to call up Makki and Mattsun and go to the planetarium? 

“Umm…Iwa? Do you want to do anything in particular today?” 

“I have a place I want to show you,” Iwa said with a slight smirk. 

“A place?” Oikawa questioned. 

“Yeah. A special place,” Iwa said as his grin grew bigger. “You’ll see tonight.” 

“What do you want to do before then?” Oikawa could feel his heart pounding in his chest at the thought that Iwaizumi planned something for tonight. A special place? 

At that moment both Matsukawa and Hanamaki came bounding through the door like they lived there. Both of them were dressed like absolute shit: wrinkled dress shirts, Mattsun was missing a shoe, and both accessorized with dark shades over their eyes. 

Iwaizumi let out a loud laugh as the two entered the kitchen. “You look so stupid. Are you…are you both high?”

Mattsun and Makki’s movements were careless and free. “No…umm…no…uh, MOM,” Hanamaki said as he stumbled into the counter top. 

“We are incredibly hungover-“ Mattsun started. 

“And drunk,” Makki interrupted. 

“What the hell were you two doing last night??” Oikawa asked as he choked on his sip of coffee. “How did you even get here??” he asked more concerned now.

“Kyoutani dropped us off. He’s a fucking legend.” Mattsun said as he ran into a side table, catching the lamp before it fell to the ground.

“Well, we will have you know, umm, you’ll know that we, uh, were…” Makki was trying his best, Oikawa will give him that. 

“We went to a ‘get together’,” Mattsun said with air quotes. 

“Get together?” Iwa asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, it was a…an interesting night. I’m going to go lay down,” Makki said as he left the kitchen and headed upstairs to Iwa’s room. “Mattsun hooked up with some chick!” he included once he was a safe distance from Mattsun attacking him. 

Matsukawa rolled his eyes behind his shades as he let out an exaggerated groan. “Yeah, well, I’m not talking about this right now. There’s, like, four of you and none of you are standing still. It’s starting to piss me off. Speaking of, I need to piss.” Matsukawa left abruptly and Iwa and Oikawa could hear him stumbling down the hallway as he muttered explicits to himself every time he hit the wall. “Fucking…FUCK! Walk in a straight line. It’s a hallway goddamnit!”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa turned slowly to look at each other and burst into laughter.


	2. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality of Oikawa leaving is starting to hit Iwaizumi. Hard. Emotions are running high as things get intense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I-   
> This is spicy...but not too spicy...yet. Definitely got out of my comfort zone, in my feelings, and may have fallen a little harder for Iwaizumi while writing this. Sorry, not sorry.

2pm Saturday

He was panting hard as he neared his favorite rest stop on his run. It’s a guarded ledge that overlooks the entire city. The only sounds were that of an occasional horn from down below or a bird passing by in the sky above. It was peaceful, and Iwa was in desperate need of peace in his mind. After last night with Oikawa, he can’t think clearly. His mind has been stirring with confusion, lust, but most importantly the overwhelming feeling of loving and being loved. Has he hid this feeling from himself all this time? Was it self protection? Maybe fear of being rejected? Or was it that Oikawa confessing made him realize as well. He’s always admired Oikawa’s beautiful features, alluring personality, and how passionate he was about his goals. Iwa would become jealous of the girls who would take his attention away. Though, he told himself it was because Oikawa needed to be focused. Never did he think it would be because he was actually jealous. 

He laughed at himself with the last thought. 

Then the tears came as reality set in. All of them that he held back from last night. The only sound that came from this scenic spot were the hushed whimpers of a heart breaking just as it was elated to be loved by another for the first time. “Why does it have to be like this?” he choked out. He slammed his fists into the dirt as he stood to his feet and began his run again. The tears kept coming. 

Iwaizumi slowed his jog to a brisk walk as he neared his house. His gray shirt clung to his chest where the sweat and tears soaked through. He reached his driveway and saw none other than Matsukawa and Hanamaki hanging out on the porch furniture laughing together. 

Both still looked just as terrible as they did when they interrupted breakfast this morning. Hanamaki’s dress shirt’s top three button were undone, completely exposing his chest. His sunglasses sat on top of his head even though he was squinting from the harsh sunlight. Matsukawa’s shirt was nowhere to be seen. His hair stuck up in all directions like an untamed shrub. His sunglasses rested in front of his eyes, slightly lower down the bridge of his nose, giving him a provocative feel to his look.

“Oi! Iwaizumi! How was your run?” Hanamaki called out as Iwa approached. 

“Yeah, you’ve been gone forever,” Matsukawa added. 

“It was good. Same thing, different day,” Iwa lied. 

Iwa stood next to Makki and rested against the door frame. 

“Oh, so Mattsun told me that there’s some tension between you and Tooru lately,” Makki said with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah?” Iwa asked as he stared down at Mattsun. His heart started racing. He’s been through too many emotions today to have to talk about this with Makki. 

“Yeeeeah. Something about you both liking the same girl. Who’s the lucky lady?” Hanamaki asked as he elbowed Iwa in the thigh. 

Oh thank God, Iwa thought. That’s a relief.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Iwa said nonchalantly as he turned to go inside. 

“C’mon!” Makki whined. 

“I need to shower. Also, could you both fix yourselves? Like, button your shirt,” he said as he pointed to Makki, “And put a shirt on,” he directed to Mattsun. 

“Why? It’s hot as balls out here,” Mattsun argued. 

“Yeah, plus, we are eye candy for the neighborhood,” Makki quipped with a smirk on his face. 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes as he closed the front door behind himself. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

7pm Saturday

Iwa drove through the driveway cascading with foliage leading to Oikawa’s childhood home. He always appreciated how secluded it felt. All of the memories of Tooru practicing volleyball while he was busy inspecting the various insects around the house flooded back to him all at once. So nostalgic, he thought. His heart sank for a moment. He won’t have a reason to visit once Oikawa leaves.   
As he pulled up to the house, Oikawa stood casually next to the light pole at the foot of the walkway to the house. He was dressed in black slacks, a lilac dress shirt that was unbuttoned two buttons down, and complete with combat style black boots. Iwaizumi took a moment to appreciate the other’s features in the terrible lighting. It doesn’t matter where he is or how terrible the lighting, he is stunning, Iwaizumi thought to himself. This is so strange. These feelings are still so new, but so strong.

Oikawa opened the passenger door to meet eyes with Iwaizumi, “So where are we going? I hope I didn’t over do it,” he said as he motioned to his outfit and then to Iwaizumi’s. 

Iwa wore jeans and a simple cream colored v-neck tee. “You look great,” Iwaizumi beamed as he got a closer look at Oikawa’s fashion choices, “But you don’t need to get dressed up for where we are going. Do you want to change, or are you comfortable?”

“I’m most comfortable when I look my best,” he said with a devilish grin as he climbed into the Jeep. 

———————————————————————— 

The pair pulled up to a dead end in a residential area. Oikawa was confused until he noticed the fencing at the perimeter with a sign that read “no trespassing”, and his confusion turned to mild nervousness. Iwaizumi is a loyal, law-abiding citizen, but he definitely has his moments of being a wild rebel. That was something that made Oikawa both unsettled and excited, and this was a moment of Iwa’s wild side. 

“We’re here. Come on,” Iwaizumi announced as he turned off the engine. 

As they both approached the fence, Oikawa hesitated. “Is this safe? Like, are we going to get in trouble? Because I can’t. I’m leaving the country in less than a week…” Oikawa started to become incredible nervous as he thought about all the possibilities of this ending horribly.

“Trust me, please,” Iwa begged. “We are fine. The sign is just there to scare people away like you,” he joked. 

“Hey, what the hell does that mean? People like me?”

“Shh! Just shut up,” Iwa whispered as he hopped the fence. “Come on,” he urged with his hand held out as support for Oikawa. 

“I don’t need your hand,” the other objected as he started to climb the fence. 

“Okay, says the injured. You’re too prideful.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes as he cleared the top, landing on the same side as Iwaizumi. 

They walked in complete darkness for about five minutes before coming to a clearing. 

It was stunning: an abandoned bridge, maybe about 20 meters long, over a forgotten body of water that was completely moonlit. The water glittered below them like bright diamonds.   
This is so romantic, Oikawa thought. Who knew Hajime had this in him? He has such a hard and rough exterior, but deep down, he’s a big softie. 

“So, this is where I go to get away from everything. I just sit here sometimes and think about anything weighing heavily on me.”

“Did you come here a lot before matches?” Oikawa asked.

“Yeah, I did actually.”

“I wish I had a place like this. Why didn’t you let me in on this? It would have been so helpful!” Oikawa moaned. 

“And tear you away from researching matches? Highly unlikely. Plus, I couldn’t have a distraction like you here,” Iwa sneered.

“Oh, so since I’m leaving I’m finally let in on your secret?” Oikawa pointed out. 

“Exactly,” Iwa said as he looked down. Why does he keep bringing it up? It felt like a knife driving deeper into Iwa’s side every time the words left Tooru’s mouth. 

Iwaizumi moved to the edge of the bridge and sat down with his legs between the bars of the railing. Oikawa followed, and they both sat in silence for a while. 

Iwa desperately tried to find anything to change the subject so he could climb himself out of the depressing thoughts of reality. “How about we go get sake after this?”

“That sounds nice, Hajime.”

They were both met with silence again, except this time it was painful. Iwaizumi choked back the tears that wanted to spill so severely. He could hear the whimpers in his throat that wanted creep out and vocalize his pain. His favorite dumbass is leaving. His first love is leaving. His best friend is leaving. And just like that he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He pressed his forehead against the bar in front of him and buried his eyes into his thumbs. 

Oikawa turned to him, “Iwa…please don’t cry.” He stroked his friend’s back gingerly. 

“I love you and I don’t know how to feel because you’re leaving and what am I supposed to do? Wait for yo-“ his tormented words were cut off by Oikawa cupping his face and pressing his lips against his. 

Oikawa could taste the pain on Iwa’s kiss. His lips soft and full, painful and electric. His tears streamed and made their home on the other’s face as they both breathed into what was happening. Iwaizumi grabbed the back of Oikawa’s head and pressed his mouth harder into the other’s. Oikawa pulled back to breathe, but to also say, “Hajime…I love you. I always have. I wouldn’t have stuck around with you being so aggressive towards me. I’m so sorry that our timing is off, but, that being said, I want to give you the best of me with the time I have. I want to show you my love. I want to make you feel like everything is right in the world…for as long as I can. I want to give you all of me.” 

They pressed their foreheads together and began a mixture of sobbing and laughing. 

“I’m always here,” Oikawa said as he pressed his hand against Iwaizumi’s firm chest, “and you’re always here,” he said as he placed Iwa’s hand on his own chest. 

They both giggled at how cliche those words were. Oikawa tilted Iwa’s face to his and kissed him delicately. Iwa grabbed the back of the other’s neck as he gently lowered Oikawa’s back to the ground. Iwa straddled him without breaking their connection. They both parted their lips as an invitation for their tongues to toy with each other. Iwa could feel Oikawa’s firm dick and subtle grinding motion with his hips below him. I’ve never done something like this, Iwa thought, I don’t know if I’m ready or even know how. Oikawa’s little breaths were followed by hushed moans. Goddammit, that’s hot…he wants it, Iwa thought as he felt how hard he was along with the moisture on the outside of his own pants. Fuck, I want it too, he realized. Not here though. 

“Can- can I blow you?” Iwa stuttered breathlessly as he pulled away. 

“Really? I didn’t think you would want to do something like that. Or I didn’t expect you to be the first one to say it at least,” Oikawa replied, shocked.

“Yeah. I- I need to do something. I want you badly, but I don’t know if I’m quite ready for…” Iwa’s voice trailed off as he slipped down the other’s body to unbuckle and unbutton Oikawa’s pants. He looked up to Oikawa’s face, ready for the go ahead. 

Oikawa’s breath caught in his throat. Is this actually happening? This is insane. I knew Iwa-Chan could be spontaneous, but this is a whole new level, he thought. “By all means, go ahead if this is what you want to do.”

Iwaizumi slipped the other’s underwear down to expose his enlarged dick dripping with precum. He delicately lapped it up, tasting how sweet he was, and took him in his mouth completely. 

Oikawa moaned with satisfaction as he grabbed a handful of Iwaizumi’s hair to guide his tempo. His moans grew with intensity until he sounded like a feral animal. 

Iwa came up for air and realized how this would end. “Tell me when you’re going to come.”

“Okay,” Oikawa breathed, utterly lost in ecstasy. 

“I’m going to have to swallow it since there’s nothing to clean it with. So, don’t surprise me, okay?”

Oikawa was shocked in such a pleasurable way. “Keep doing what you’re doing and your mouth will be filled in no time.”

Iwaizumi continued his tempo, pressing his lips and tongue tightly against Oikawa’s shaft as he slid up and down. He could feel the other throb against his mouth with every movement. He’s getting close, he thought. Iwa started to pick up the pace and felt Oikawa roughly grab at his hair and tighten his grip. 

“I- I’m about to come. Keep going. Faster,” Oikawa pleaded and the other obeyed. He reached for Iwaizumi’s hand and squeezed tight. “I’m…coming. Iwa…Iwa…” he panted. 

Iwaizumi’s mouth filled quickly and he swallowed diligently. He came up for air as he finished, still holding Oikawa’s hand firmly. Oikawa reached down and brought Iwa’s face to his and kissed him tenderly. 

“I love you, Hajime.”

——————————————————————————————————————————

“Are you hungry?” Iwa asked as he grabbed the door to a local bar they both have frequented with Mattsun and Makki. 

Oikawa laughed. “Yeah, but you did this whole thing backwards, Iwa. You’re supposed to wine and dine me before shoving my cock in your mouth in the middle of nowhere.”

Iwa glared at his friend and whispered, "I know what I'm doing. Not too much longer before I shove something inside you," as the hostess approached. 

“Good evening!” she announced cheerfully. “How many in your party tonight?” 

“Just two,” Iwa replied, not breaking his stare with Oikawa. 

Oikawa became stiff with a mixture of fear, arousal, and intimidation. 

“Come on Shittykawa,” he called to Tooru while grabbing his hand. 

He so strange. So complex. I truly wonder what actually goes on in his mind, Oikawa pondered as they walked to their table. 

After three flasks of sake, both were flushed in the face. They sat there laughing and talking about past events, their future goals, what they want out of life, and what truly makes them happy. The conversations between the two were almost always deep, at least when it was just the two of them. Oikawa went to reach for Iwa’s hand on the table as he heard a voice screech out his name.

“Oikawa-san! Oikawa-san! Can I get a picture with you?” A younger girl, maybe nineteen or so, came running up to the table almost pushing Oikawa out of his chair. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. 

Oikawa became bashful as he rubbed the back of his neck and smirked. “I’m at dinner. I’m sorry.”

Just then, they heard another voice yelling. Though, this one was angry. “Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?!” A wiry haired, pale man walked furiously up to Oikawa and pulled the girl back. She looked disappointed in his actions…or maybe her actions, it was hard to tell. “Stay the fuck away from her. YOU HEAR ME, YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!?” He yanked the girl by the arm and disappeared around the corner of the bar. 

“Jesus…what the hell was that?” Iwaizumi asked still staring in the direction of the obnoxious interrupters. 

“Ugh. It’s gotten so much worse, Iwa. These girls won’t leave me alone. They know I’m a pro athlete now and it’s escalated to an extreme,” Oikawa looked down, frustrated with not being able to go anywhere without being flooded by “Oikawa-san!” this and “Oikawa-san” that. “Their boyfriends have started becoming super confrontational and I’m getting scared to go places by myself.” 

“Confrontational? What exactly do you mean? Like, are they getting violent with you?” Iwa inquired with concern in his tone. 

“I’m not that much of a fighter in these situations. I’m not doing anything anyway! So my fight or flight kicks in and I just get away as fast as I can,” the other confessed with terror in his eyes. “I- I’m just scared that they will try to hurt me-“ 

Oikawa’s words were cut off by his ringing phone. 

“Hey mom. Hey- What?? Hold on. Calm down. Breathe, mom. Are you okay? Sorry, I know that was a stupid question. I’m sorry! I’m coming to get you. Just stay where you are. Don’t move!” Oikawa hung up and looked up at Iwaizumi with panic in his eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” Iwa demanded. 

“My mom fell down the stairs and broke her arm…she thinks. I’m going to call an Uber.”

“Wait, I’ll drive you.”

“You’re intoxicated.”

Iwaizumi forgot how much they have had to drink from all of this panic. He’s right, he thought. “We can call Matsukawa. He lives close by.”

Ten minutes later, Mattsun pulled up. “Hey guys. Too much to drink?” he laughed with a dopey look in his eyes. “What lightweights. Embarrassing. Did I not teach you anything?”

“I’d cool it, dude,” Iwa said with a tender tone. 

“What’s wrong? Can’t take a joke, Mr. I-SUCK-AT-BEER-PONG?” he said towards Oikawa in the passenger seat. 

Oikawa looked over at his friend in the driver seat with utter panic in his eyes. “My mom is hurt. Can we please hurry?” he pleaded. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a lot of inspiration of my first kiss' setting with my current boyfriend while writing the bridge scene. It was an abandoned railroad track though, but he would go there to clear his mind a lot. I hope you enjoyed this part! Get ready for some tears and heartbreak. The next parts aren't going to be easy. 
> 
> Thank you for the support!


	3. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He topped the flight of stairs and turned Iwa’s bedroom doorknob. The room was dark, but it felt so inviting. It smelled of Iwa; a combination of crisp and earthy. Oikawa could hear soft snoring coming from the direction of the bed. His snores are so adorable, he thought. Oikawa walked lightly over to the bed and squat down so he was face to face with an unconscious Iwa. He lightly stroked the other’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this is pretty spicy. and well, it's my first time writing something like this. I hope you enjoy.

2am 

(text conversation)

2:13am  
Iwaizumi: 

Hey. How’s your mom doing? How are you doing?

2:33am  
Oikawa: 

She’s good. It was only a fracture, luckily. She’s about finished up here and I’ll head back home. 

2:34am  
Iwaizumi:

Oh. That’s good to hear. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help out. How are you?

2:40am   
Oikawa: 

I’m so tired. I’m sorry tonight was ruined. 

2:41am  
Iwaizumi:

No need to apologize for anything. You were definitely needed. Plus, we can just hang out tomorrow…if you’d like to…

2:43am  
Oikawa: 

I’m going to have to take care of my mom until Wednesday. My sister will be in town by then, and then I can hang out more. I’m sorry. You can come over to the house and hang out with me if you’d like. I know it’s not going to be much fun though, so I understand if you don’t want to. You’ll get me all of Thursday though. 

Iwa lay there with his phone hovering over his face. Just one day? That’s it? One day is better than none, I guess. Oikawa’s mother has always been overbearing and incredibly nosey, so hanging out there might not be the best option since Oikawa’s lips will be too tempting. Iwa bit his bottom lip. He could still taste him faintly. 

2:51am  
Iwaizumi:

Okay. Just text me when you wake up. 

2:57am  
Oikawa: 

Sleep well, Iwa-Chan. 

Iwaizumi rolled over on his side, tucked his pillow tightly between his elbow and neck, and drifted to sleep. 

4am

Oikawa just laid down in his bed and felt his heart sink to his stomach. Sleeping next to Iwa made him feel safe, like everything was right in the world. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as he thought about the amount of time he has left to spend with his best friend. His house isn’t too far, he thought. I could go over and… no, I shouldn’t. I’m sure he’s sleeping and I don’t want Iwa angry at me by waking him for something so stupid. On the other hand, my mom won’t wake up for a while due to the pain medicine they gave her. Oikawa quickly grabbed his keys and wallet and tiptoed out of his house. 

He pulled up to Iwa’s house and sat in his car contemplating the next move. Should I actually do this? Iwa surely would be happy to see me, right? He walked up to the door and grabbed the hidden spare key before he realized what he was doing. Oikawa took a deep breath and walked in. 

He topped the flight of stairs and turned Iwa’s bedroom doorknob. The room was dark, but it felt so inviting. It smelled of Iwa; a combination of crisp and earthy. Oikawa could hear soft snoring coming from the direction of the bed. His snores are so adorable, he thought. Oikawa walked lightly over to the bed and squat down so he was face to face with an unconscious Iwa. He lightly stroked the other’s face. 

“Iwa?” Oikawa whispered hoping to wake him easily. 

Nothing. 

“Iwa?” His voice coming out slightly louder. 

Iwaizumi could feel a presence in his room and felt someone touching his face delicately. Is this a vivid dream, he asked himself. No. It’s Tooru. 

Iwa parted his lids lightly to see Oikawa’s face coming close to his. Before he could say anything, their lips were pressed together softly. Iwa became rigid with shock. This is a dream. This has to be a dream. Oikawa’s lips were soft, but Iwa could feel pain lingering behind them. He sank deeper into the connection as his body softened with the embrace. Iwa pressed into the other’s lips firmly, but Oikawa pulled back and pressed his forehead against Iwa’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry. I just needed to see you. Can I sleep next to you?” his voice trembled. 

“What? Scared of sleeping alone now?,” Iwa sleepily responded as he pulled back the covers next to him. 

“I’m not scared!” Oikawa snapped back. “I- uh…” his thought trailed off. He wasn’t scared. He just really appreciated the feeling of being loved and held, especially by his best friend. Granted, the romantic attraction is still very new, but it makes it less awkward with someone that he grew up with. Oikawa wanted to take advantage of all the time he has with him. He wanted to kiss him all night, hold him close, talk about anything and everything, and possibly return the favor from last night. Oikawa sat on the thought of last night and the way Iwa wrapped his mouth around him without much hesitation for a moment. Iwa was delicate with him, as if he would break if he moved too fast. It was the last thing Oikawa thought he would do. Who would have thought Iwa-Chan would be such an elegant lover.

“Iwa-Chan…would you want to continue where we left off last night?” Oikawa asked nervously. 

Iwaizumi was still groggy from his slumber being interrupted. Continue? “You came all the way over here to get even with me?” Iwa challenged. “That’s a very ‘you’ thing to do… and here I thought you wanted to cuddle.”

Oikawa climbed into bed and quickly found Iwa’s body to wrap his arms around. He cupped Iwa’s face with his hand as he kissed him gingerly. His lips were sweet; Oikawa craved more. More. His lips traced down over Iwa’s chiseled jaw, his neck and collarbone, his rugged chest… all the way down until he reached the top of his underwear band. Oikawa hesitated. I’ve wanted this for so long, he reminded himself. He looked up at Iwa’s face that was painted in nervousness. 

Iwa was trying his best to shake off the nerves. Oikawa looked beautiful in the moonlight and there he was, inches away from his dick, wanting to please his Iwa-Chan. None of this helped his anxiety of receiving his first blow job. 

“Are you okay? I won’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable. I just really wanted to make you feel good,” Oikawa’s voice cooed. 

“No, no. I want you to…I’m just nervous.”

“Oh, Iwa-Chan, relax. It’s me. There’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ll take care of you.” Oikawa smirked up at Iwa trying his best to reassure him. 

“It’s- it’s just my first time.” 

“That makes me even more excited. I can’t wait to see you squirm and hear you moan,” Oikawa teased as he revealed Iwa and started to work. 

Oikawa’s mouth was wrapped tightly around Iwa and he moved in tantalizing tempo that was enough to make Iwaizumi grab the back of the other’s head and push him further down. Oikawa couldn’t breathe, but he moaned at Iwa showing the harshness Oikawa was used to. 

“To- Tooru,” Iwa moaned. 

Oikawa could feel Iwa throbbing in his mouth, but he wanted more. He wanted Iwa to fill him in a way that would leave him drunk off ecstasy. However, Iwa-Chan did seem to relax and enjoy himself, so Oikawa continued working him with his mouth. 

Suddenly, Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s face and brought it to his own and kissed him roughly. 

“I want you,” he growled. “I want more. I want to fuck you.”  
Oikawa was shocked to hear such lewd words coming from Iwa-Chan, especially after the way he was so mild last night, but Tooru didn’t want him to stop. 

“Fuck me? What gives you the idea that I would let you do that?” Oikawa teased while hovering over Iwa’s mouth. 

Iwaizumi grabbed the bottom hem of Oikawa’s shirt and pulled it up and over his head exposing Oikawa’s creamy white, toned torso, and tossed it carelessly to the floor. Iwaizumi took a moment to appreciate Oikawa’s body like he’s never done before. God, he’s beautiful, Iwa thought. 

“Do you have lube?” Oikawa asked as he hovered over Iwa’s body, knowing he didn’t but hoping he did. 

“Umm, no? Do we need it?” Iwa questioned.

“Yeah, I mean if you want fuck me like you say you do…” Oikawa retorted with a disappointed tone. He sank back down over Iwa’s thighs.

“Oh.” Iwaizumi’s voice came soft and disappointed as well. 

After a moment Oikawa lifted his head with an idea. “You could use your spit. I think it would work.” 

“I really don’t want to hurt you. I could go and pick some up tomorrow so we are prepared next time.” 

Next time? He really wants to do this, Oikawa thought as he bit his bottom lip. “Finger me,” he said as he moved to lay side by side next to Iwa-Chan. 

Iwa turned to Oikawa in shock. He’s never heard those words before, especially so casually as Oikawa said them. He shoved his middle finger in his mouth to wet it and hesitated before tenderly massaging Tooru. 

“Iwa-Chan…please don’t tease me for too long. I don’t like being teased,” Oikawa groaned as he pulled Iwaizumi’s lips to his. “Do it,” he challenged. 

Hajime took to the demand and slid his middle digit in until his knuckle was flush with Oikawa’s skin. He was tight around his finger. They both gasped in pleasure. “Another, Iwa-Chan.”

Iwa cautiously added his index finger; slowing his pace with the penetration. He’s so tight, Iwa thought. He watched as his fingers slowly entered Oikawa. “You’re beautiful,” he breathed, hoping Oikawa didn’t actually hear him. 

“Another, please Hajime,” Oikawa moaned, “Spit on it first.”

Iwaizumi pulled his fingers out slowly, and before he realized what he was doing, he grabbed a pillow, lifted Oikawa’s legs to place it under him, and replaced his fingers with his tongue. 

Oikawa immediately moaned in enjoyment as he curled his fingers tightly around the bed sheets. “I- Iwa-Chan? How are you so g- good at this?”

Iwaizumi pulled away to look up at Oikawa’s relaxed face, “I…I didn’t realize I was. I just want to show you how much I care about you. How much you mean to me. How… how much I love you. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. I- I would feel pretty lonely if you weren’t because I’m really enjoying myself.”

“Keep going,” Oikawa said as he pushed Iwa-Chan’s head back down. 

After a few moments, Iwaizumi’s jaw began to ache and he slowed his movement. Oikawa noticed this and tugged at Iwa-Chan’s hair to get his attention. “Fuck me,” Oikawa breathed. 

Iwaizumi obeyed once again. He moved to a position where he was hovering over Oikawa, face to face. Oikawa raised his legs so that his ankles were resting next to Iwa-Chan’s ears. Such a romantic position, Oikawa thought. 

“I’ve never done this before,” Iwaizumi said while holding Oikawa’s ankles. 

“Well, me either, Iwa-Chan,” Oikawa laughed. 

“No… I’ve never gone this far with someone.”

Oikawa gasped. “Iwa-Chan, you’re a virgin?!”

Iwaizumi immediately felt his face burn from embarrassment. “It’s not that I haven’t wanted to…it just never happened. So I don’t know how good I’m going to be at this, but I’ll give it my best.”

“Look at us taking each other’s virginities,” Oikawa said with a smirk, “It’s kind of sweet. Don’t worry though, I’ll coach you through it. Just go slow at first.” 

Iwa took a deep breath and slowly entered the other. Oikawa grit his teeth from a mix of pain and pleasure. It hurt, but it felt so damn good. Iwaizumi bit down on his bottom lip. I don’t know how long I’m going to last. Iwa leaned into the back of Oikawa’s thighs. He feels so good, he thought. 

“Go a little faster…yes…just like that…” Oikawa moaned. 

Iwaizumi grunted as he thrusted into Oikawa at a faster tempo. The sound of his hips slapping against the other was enough to make him go feral. Iwa kept his eyes locked on Oikawa’s. 

“Harder, Iwa-Chan.”

Again, Iwaizumi obeyed and pumped harder into the other. He watched as, almost instinctively, Oikawa reached down, grabbed himself, and began to stroke lightly. Sheer panic filled Iwa. “If you touch yourself, I’m going to come.” Iwaizumi stopped all of his movement and stared across the bedroom with complete concentration. 

“Iwa-Chan? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Shut up. I’m trying not to come right now.”

Oikawa complied and observed an incredibly focused Iwa. His jaw clenched, eyes closed tightly, and nostrils flared. His breathing was deep and methodic. Sweat dripped down his forehead. Oikawa could feel Iwa throbbing inside him; every pulse sending a shiver down his spine.   
“Let me ride you, Iwa-Chan.”

“Okay,” he breathed, “But I can’t guarantee that I’m going to last much longer.”

Iwaizumi slid one arm around Oikawa’s back pulling him close, and carefully balanced on his other forearm as he rolled them both over, without breaking the connection. He pulled himself close to the headboard to maintain an upright position with Oikawa in his lap. 

“You’re so strong, Iwa-Chan,” Oikawa exclaimed. 

“Shut up and ride me,” he replied with a teasing smirk. 

Without hesitation, Oikawa began to move up and down; taking every inch of Iwa. They both moaned between panting breaths. Oikawa leaned into the crook of Iwa-Chan’s neck and kissed him, while he firmly grabbed himself and began stroking again. Iwaizumi sank his fingers into the other’s hips. “You feel so good.”

“You do too, Hajime,” Oikawa whispered as he nibbled Iwa’s earlobe tenderly. 

“Ah, fuck. I’m going to come,” Iwa’s voice was panicked and breathless. 

“No, no, no. Not yet, Iwa-Chan. I’m so close,” Oikawa whined. 

Iwaizumi bit down hard on his bottom lip and furrowed his brow. “Come. Come for me,” Iwa growled. 

Oikawa quickly picked up his pace. His breath was fast and shallow. 

“Ah, Shittykawa, you’re really not helping. I- Oi-….”

Oikawa felt Iwa’s throbs grow more intense and the subtle pumping into him sent him over the edge. Oikawa’s eyes rolled back in complete pleasure, he clenched his jaw, and tilted his head towards the ceiling as he came…hard. As the waves a pleasure washed over them both, Oikawa looked down to see Iwa-Chan covered in cum. His chest, his neck, his face…uh oh. It’s in his eye. 

Iwaizumi had his left eye closed tightly as he squinted at Oikawa. 

“I’m so sorry! I’ll go grab a towel,” Oikawa spat out as he lifted himself from Iwaizumi. 

“Why does it burn so bad?” Iwa asked as Oikawa ran to the bathroom. 

A few seconds later, Oikawa returned with a towel and quickly wiped Iwa-Chan down. After cleaning up the last bit, Oikawa turned but was stopped by Iwaizumi roughly grabbing his wrist. Tooru looked at the other with confusion. 

“Thank you. That was incredible…coming in my eye and all,” Iwaizumi said genuinely. He pulled Oikawa into bed and wrapped his arms around him tightly. 

Oikawa slowly found the rhythm of Iwa’s breathing and melted into him. His hand found the spot between his shoulder blades and pushed his face against his chest while Iwa rested his chin on top of his head comfortably. 

“This is dangerous. You know that, right?” Iwa asked while stroking Oikawa’s back. 

He didn’t respond to Iwa. He couldn’t. His eyes welled up with tears and his throat tightened. He knew confessing wasn’t going to do anything but hurt Iwa-Chan in the end. Hurt both of them. He did it anyway out of pure selfishness to quickly get as close as he could and then leave. Oikawa knew that Iwa had feelings lingering in his heart for him, and without realizing it in the moment, he has manipulated and exploited them. That realization hurt worse than anything to come. 

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa murmured.

They both held each other close and fell asleep. 

—————————————————————————————————————————

9:54am Sunday

Iwaizumi woke to an empty bed. He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and noticed a text notification from Oikawa. 

7:16am  
Oikawa:

Hey. Sorry if this wakes you. I’m going to take some time to myself today and tomorrow. My mom also needs me right now. 

He placed his phone on his chest and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. He could hear the birds singing outside peacefully. What was that last night, he asked himself. Iwaizumi could feel his heart sinking. Why am I falling so hard even though I know what the end looks like? This won’t work. It was never meant to work. I don’t even like him half the time. There’s something about Oikawa that lures people in. Maybe it’s his charm or looks or probably both. He knows what to say to make you feel like you’re the only one who matters, but then cuts you down to size when it’s not working in his favor. Even though I’ve known this for years, here I am, caught in his web. 

Iwaizumi shook the thoughts off. Suddenly, Makki barged into his room and tackled him on the bed. 

“Iwaizumi! What are you doing today?” Makki asked playfully. 

Matsukawa stood in the doorway chuckling at the scene.   
“Get off me, Makki!”

“Fine,” Hanamaki groaned. “Let me rephrase my question. Are you hanging out with Oikawa today?” He asked with an eyebrow raised. 

Mattsun immediately became stiff with nervousness. “Please don’t.”

“Mattsun told me that you and Oikawa are fucking each other,” he quickly spat out while looking in Mattsun’s direction. He turned to Iwaizumi, “IS THAT TRUE??”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened. His heart stopped. Complete shock ran through his body. He couldn’t answer. He couldn’t move. 

“It’s true!!” Makki laughed. “I knew you both liked each other. Does he like you hitting him in bed too? Or does he hit you til you break…if you get what I’m saying?” Makki asked with a grin painted on his face. 

“That’s incredibly rude to ask, Makki,” Mattsun cried. 

Iwaizumi could feel his shock turning to anger. “First of all, fuck you Mattsun,” he said pointing to Matsukawa, “Second, fuck you for thinking I would bottom, Makki. Third, it’s none of your goddamn business. If you must know, I’m not hanging out with him today. He’s taking care of his mom until Wednesday.”

“Good. Come with us to go day drinking then!” Makki said excitedly. 

Ugh. Day drinking with the “meme team” sounds more like I’ll just be babysitting, Iwa thought. 

“Fine. I’ll go. You will need supervision,” Iwa groaned as he pulled the covers off to put his clothes on. 

“HAJIME!! You’re- you’re naked!” Mattsun cried as he immediately turned around to avoid eye contact with a nude Iwaizumi. 

“Sleeping in the nude. I like it,” Makki grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! I- uh welp, that happened. Had to really spice it up before breaking your hearts. Buckle up for the next chapter. Any comments are greatly appreciated!


	4. End of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s the first thing you want to do when we get to Argentina? Iguazu Falls? Go check out Patagonia? Beach volleyball?” Iwa asked trying to keep Oikawa awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are major character deaths and violence in this chapter.

Wednesday  
6:17pm  
Iwaizumi:

Hey. How are you? 

9:37pm Wednesday

Iwaizumi’s phone had been silent since his and Oikawa’s night, and it didn’t sit well with him. It was unlike him to not reply immediately to his messages. I wonder if I should call him, Iwa-Chan thought, but if I did, Oikawa would make me feel like I’m the one who is clingy and not let me live it down. I can’t afford that, he scoffed to himself.  
Iwa laid back into his pillows and stared at his ceiling. I wonder how he is…

Oikawa laid in his bed staring out his window watching the trees’ branches wave in the wind. Tears streamed down his pink cheeks, just like they had been for the last three days. It’s become his bedtime ritual: shower, brush his teeth, slip into one of Iwa-Chan’s shirts he’s left over at his house, crawl into bed, talk himself out of texting Iwa something like “I really enjoyed the other night” or “I love you” or even asking “can I come over?”, and cry himself into a slumber.  
“It’s not fair,” Oikawa said to himself as he sank deeper into his emotions. I hate that I said anything to him. I hate myself for it. I hate that I’ve pulled him into this mess of emotions and went so far with my lust and… I fucking hate myself. I wish that long distance could work, but it would be unfair to both of us. I wish he could come with me, but that would be selfish, and he would sacrifice too much. I wish it could work. I just want to be his… so badly. 

Just then, Oikawa’s phone lit up, pulling him out of his self destructive thoughts and into another mix of emotions.

9:41pm  
Groupchat: Princess & Godzilla  
Makki:

Hey lovebirds! Come out with me and Mattsun! We are heading downtown to go bar hopping. Come!

Oikawa’s heart fluttered…and then sank. 

9:42pm  
Iwaizumi:

I’m going to bed. Thanks though, Makki! Let’s go out this weekend. 

Iwa-Chan doesn’t really like going out that much. It hurt Oikawa a little to know that after he leaves, he wants to go out. I guess I really should try my best to distance myself, he thought to himself as tears traced his cheeks. His throat felt tight with a mix of anger and hurt. I could go over there and make him cuddle me so I didn’t feel so jealous, he thought. No, no, no, I’m doing it again. Focus. Oikawa closed his eyes and furrowed his brow in an effort to make his thoughts of Iwa-Chan’s embrace disappear, but he could only see him behind his eyelids.  
“Ugh,” Oikawa moaned as he rolled over to his other side, ignoring the text. 

Iwaizumi laid there staring at his phone screen, knowing that what he said to Makki upset Oikawa. He was surprised though; Oikawa didn’t text him or respond to the group chat. Something is wrong, Iwaizumi thought. I’m going to go over there and check on him. 

Iwa pulled up to Oikawa’s dark house and killed his engine. The house felt cold like he wasn’t welcomed. Iwaizumi observed Oikawa’s window, checking for any sign of him being awake, and noticed a phone lit up. Iwa pulled out his phone and called his friend upstairs. It didn’t even ring before Oikawa’s voice was on the other side of the line. 

“Iwa-Chan?”

“Hey. Go to your window.”

“Go home. I don’t know what you’re doing here.”

“Unlock the door loser. Stop being a brat.”

“You have a key,” Oikawa said as he rolled his eyes, “Why don’t you just let yourself in?”

“Okay, fine. I didn’t want to be impolite and barge in.”

Iwa found the key on his keyring and opened the front door. He tiptoed to Oikawa’s room, being exceptionally careful not to wake anyone in the house. He reached Oikawa’s closed door and could immediately feel the tension seeping through. Shit, I did piss him off and looks like I’m going to have to cheer him up, he thought. He pushed the door open to see Oikawa laying in bed facing away from the door. The only light came from his phone’s backlight and the alarm clock numbers on the nightstand. 

“Oikawa?”

“What do you want? Why did you come here?” Oikawa asked not moving from his position. 

“Because I wanted to spend time with you and-“

“Why didn’t you come over earlier? Why in the middle of the night? Why haven’t you texted me?” Oikawa questioned as his voice became shaky with every question. 

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted space remember?” Iwa retorted as he crossed the bedroom to the bed. “If you want me to go, then just say it. I’ll leave. I’ll give you all the space you need, but you haven’t done the best job at showing that’s what you want,” Iwa said as he furrowed his brows. 

“Because I don’t want that Iwa!” Oikawa shot himself up from his bed as he raised his voice.

“And I don’t fucking want that either! Why are you shutting me out? The moment we became intimate, you’ve been all over the place with your emotions. I’m starting to question your intentions with me. Are you just trying your best to fuck with me before you leave?” Iwa could feel the anger rising in his chest. His cheeks flushed with heat. His jaw clenched trying to hold everything back. 

“And you telling Makki that you want to go out this weekend… what’s that about?! Is it to go find someone new so you will be able to get over me?”

“Oh please. Don’t start with that shit Toor-“

Oikawa closed the space between them. He was inches away from Iwa’s face as he stared intensely into the other’s eyes, his palms meeting the wall on either side of Iwaizumi’s head.  
“Don’t start with what?” Oikawa hissed “The truth? How hurt I am? How I’ll become forg-“

“Jesus Christ! I want to go out this weekend to distract myself from you leaving. You’re my goddamn best friend and who knows when I’ll see you again?! Is that a crime?! The audacity you have to say you’ll be forgotten…you’re a fucking idiot. If anything, I think you’re shutting me out because you want to forget us…to forget me. And if that’s what you want to do, then fine. Forget me, but don’t you dare stand here and tell me how I’m going to react to all of this.” Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s wrist and pulled it down to make a path for his exit. 

Oikawa stood there with his head down, his messy hair covering his expression, one arm extended to the wall, and the tears that have found a home on his face. “Iwa, wait.”

Iwaizumi stood facing the door waiting for Oikawa’s words. 

“I don’t want us to leave on a sour note. Please stay. I’m sorry.” 

“I think it’s best that I leave,” Iwa said as he reached for the doorknob. 

“Please,” Oikawa whined as he grabbed Iwa’s elbow to turn him around.  
Oikawa’s heart started to race. He’s been such an asshole to his best friend and he felt like shit about that. Iwa turned to face him and just like that, Oikawa’s heart melted. He instinctively pulled Iwa’s face to his own and kissed him hard. Iwa wrapped his arms tightly around Oikawa’s waist and sank deeper into the embrace. Their lips parted as Oikawa said, “Please stay. Please. I need you. Iwa…I need you.” 

“Don’t shut me out, Oikawa. I still need you too, but I know you’ll never be mine,” Iwaizumi choked out. 

“I’m yours, Iwa. I’m yours,” Oikawa cried. 

“I think it’s best I leave tonight. You should take a little more time to yourself and figure your feelings out. I love you…I really do, but I can’t go back and forth like this with you. It’s not just your feelings involved,” Iwa said sternly and turned to leave before Oikawa could say anything else. 

“Iwa,” Oikawa whispered as he fell to his bedroom floor in a heap of tears and sobs. 

Iwaizumi locked the door and briskly walked to his vehicle and climbed in. His hands clenched the steering wheel and he could feel his frustration rising up in his throat. “AAAHHHHHHHGGGGGGG!!” his scream slowly turned into a sob. The release felt nice, but maybe he should move his location. “Why? Why do you have to be such a jerk, Tooru,” he asked himself once he caught his breath. All I want to do is run back inside and hold you, comfort you, but I think space is best for us. Pretty soon we will have enough space to last a lifetime, he thought. He harshly wiped his face free of tears and turned his ignition. Without realizing it, Iwa was already home. He was emotionally drained to the point of just crawling into bed, fully clothed, and fell asleep. 

Text message  
2:15am  
Oikawa:

Iwa?

Text message  
3:07am  
Oikawa:

Iwa, I’m sorry. Please forgive me for my outburst. Can we hang out tomorrow?

Text message  
3:11am  
Oikawa:

I wish you were here. Goodnight. 

——————————————————————————————————————————

Oikawa was finishing the last of his packing while he was thinking of how much he’s going to miss everyone. He hasn’t heard from Iwa today, and his mind wandered to Iwa and lingered there for a while until he was brought back with a “Tooru!” from downstairs.  
“What is it mom?” Oikawa’s voice came out more annoyed than he meant it. Damn Iwa-Chan! I swear if I get in trouble with my mom before I leave….he thought. 

Oikawa walked into the kitchen where his mom’s voice came. She was holding a loaf pan and the entire house smelled sweet. Milk bread. “Awww, mom you didn’t have to!” 

“I know, but I did. I can’t believe you are on your way to doing amazing things. I’m so proud-“ her voice cracked as she started to cry. 

“Oh, mom,” Oikawa ran over and grabbed the pan to set on the counter. He wrapped his arms around his mother and she sobbed into his chest. “Please don’t cry. I’ll come visit! As often as I can! Just…please don’t cry… or I’ll cry.”

“My baby boy has grown into such an amazing young man and I can’t express how proud of you I am. I love you.” Her voice came soft, her hand resting on Oikawa’s cheek, and he really didn’t want this tender moment to end. “I love you too.”

Iwaizumi woke up and stared at his ceiling. Why do I feel numb, he thought. I feel like I lost a part of me last night. Is this…disassociation? Am I separating myself emotionally to cope with this? Why is this taking such a toll on my mental state? He sat up and realized he was still dressed from last night. He reached for his phone, that was still in his pocket, and saw missed texts from Oikawa. He opened them immediately. 

I really wish I would have gone back inside to him. He needed me and I was the one who shut him out to protect myself. I don’t know what to do anymore. My mind feels clouded, he thought. He got up from his bed and went to take a shower. 

The hot water streamed down his body, leaving steam trails where it touched. His mind flooded with the thoughts of Oikawa. His heart felt heavy for his friend. Iwa tried his best to shake the feelings off and focus on his lazy shower routine instead, but his mind kept leading him back to Oikawa. That’s it, he thought, I’m just going to go visit him. He finished up with his shower, picked out an outfit he knew Oikawa really liked, and descended the stairs as Mattsun and Makki walked through the front door. 

“Oh shit! Mattsun, do you see what I see?” Makki asked while elbowing the tall, sleepy eyed one. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure we both see a bright, young man standing before us,” Mattsun said as he smiled. 

“Oh… I was going to say a sexy ass man who is banging his best friend, but sure. You said it better,” Makki laughed as he closed the front door.  
“I’m heading over to Oikawa’s right now. You both can join if you’d like,” Iwaizumi said as he put on his jacket, ignoring Makki’s comment. 

“Of course you’re heading over to Oikawa’s. Of course,” Makki mocked. 

“We would love to join you, Iwa. It’s been a while since we’ve seen him,” Mattsun said as he looked over at Makki with an annoyed expression. “He’s leaving tomorrow, right? It would be nice to have a day with all of us together one last time.” The air in the room shifted immediately to melancholy and surrounded all three of them. 

“I’m going to miss him,” Iwa said softly under his breath. 

“Me too,” Mattsun whispered. 

“Don’t either of you start that. You’re making me sad and this is a time of celebration. We need to be happy for him because you know if we were in the same position, he would be ecstatic for us… plus if we start getting sad about him leaving, he will get extremely emotional,” Makki reasoned, “which means we will all have to deal with him being sentimental and crying all over us.”

Makki had a point. Oikawa is not afraid to show his emotions around the ones he trusts, but with that comes a side that no one really knew about him. He can cry and whine about the things that bother him, but the real difficulty is when he becomes robotic and numb to a situation that’s upsetting him. Oikawa doesn’t handle it well mentally, and Iwa knew that best.  
Iwaizumi looked up at his friends while wearing a smile, and they did as well. 

The three of them walked up to the front door of Oikawa’s house. Iwa gently knocked on the door and within seconds, Oikawa’s mother opened it. “Oh! Hello boys! It’s so nice to see all of you. Come in. Come in!” she said with excitement in her voice. “Tooru actually went out for a walk. Something about the air in here was heavy. I don’t know. He should be back relatively soon. You can go up to his room if you’d like. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

Iwa knew exactly where Oikawa went. The secret spot. Makki, Mattsun, and Iwa all walked up the stairs to Oikawa’s room. Each step felt heavy for Iwa. He could only think of last night. The pleading from Oikawa as he left. He heard it, but ignored it. Sometimes it’s best if you ignore a child when they throw a tantrum because they are only seeking a reaction or attention, but this wasn’t the same. Guilt rose up in Iwa’s chest and gripped his rib cage. I’m going to go talk to him before he comes back and things get awkward, he thought.  
“I’ll be back guys.”

Makki and Mattsun looked at Iwa with confused expressions. “What?” Mattsun questioned. 

“I’m going to go get him,” Iwa shouted as he ran down the stairs.

The drive isn’t too far. He pulled up to the fence and turned off the car. Everything went by in a blur as he ran through the wooded path. The trees zipped by and his vision zeroed in on what was important: Oikawa. When he came to the clearing, he saw him sitting there throwing rocks into the water below. “Hey,” Iwa breathed as he shoved his fists into his jacket pockets. 

Oikawa looked up surprised, “Ah! Oh, hey.” His voice sounded both excited and disappointed at the same time. “I’m sorry, Iwa.”  
Iwaizumi walked over and sat down next to Oikawa. “I’m sorry too.” Iwa grabbed Oikawa’s shoulder and pulled him into a hug. He could feel the tension melt from the other’s body. 

Oikawa wrapped his arms around Iwa’s torso and squeezed tightly. He breathed in deeply, inhaling the smell of comfort and nostalgia. Iwa’s hand moved to the back of Oikawa’s head and began stroking his hair. How could someone who is so intense and aggressive all the time also be someone who is so tender and gentle as well, Oikawa thought. 

“Are you ready to go back yet? Makki and Mattsun are waiting in your room. They’ve probably found all of your embarrassing baby pictures by now,” Iwa joked. 

“They are not embarrassing! I was adorable!”

“I still don’t know why you keep those in your room,” Iwa laughed. 

“So I know where they are. My mom moves things around and never remembers where she puts it. So, it’s for safe measures. Plus, I like looking back on memories when I’m sad. There’s quite a few of us when we were kids. Those make me the happiest,” Oikawa’s voice grew softer with the last sentence. 

“Come on you dork. Let’s go back.” 

“Oikawa reads manga? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with any other book that doesn’t pertain to his academics to be honest,” Makki said while stroking the spines of his collection. He gradually made his way to Oikawa’s nightstand and pulled the drawer open. “Oh? What’s this?” he asked as he pulled out a black journal. 

“Makki. Put that back. It’s rude to go through someone’s things…..even if you want dirt- I mean want to know about… ah, what the hell. One page. That’s it,” Mattsun said as he walked over to Makki. 

“I’m only writing this because I can’t tell if I’m being overdramatic or not. I don’t want to tell my friends for the fear of them making fun of me when I desperately need them. I won’t be able to take it. The last couple of days, I’ve noticed a guy following me around. He’s probably a little older than me. He’s always wearing a black hoodie and a black cap. I’ve seen him four times this week. I think he’s the one I tried to reason with previously. He came out of nowhere and attacked me verbally and tried to assault me. Something about his girlfriend… I don’t remember the whole situation. I was in shock. I know I am popular with girls, but this is getting out of hand. It was flattering at first, and I don’t have the heart to tell them that I’m not interested, but I am actually scared to go in public by myself. I’m relieved to leave this place and go somewhere completely new. I know running away from your problems doesn’t solve anything. I’ll take anything at this point. I hope he stops following me until I leave. 

He saw me with Iwa tonight. I’m so worried now. It’s not just me. He knows Iwa now. I feel so scared. The last thing I want is to leave and Iwa be in trouble. This guy’s mental state doesn’t look good. I’m going to keep my distance from my friends and that kills me to say. This is the time I really want to spend with them. FUCK THAT GUY.”

Makki and Mattsun looked at each other in disbelief. 

“What do we do?” Mattsun asked. 

“I’m going to fuck that guy up. Why the fuck didn’t Oikawa say anything?” Makki questioned with worry in his voice. 

“Calm down. We can’t let Oikawa know we read this. Remember? But now that we know, once Oikawa leaves, we can keep an eye out on Iwaizumi,” Mattsun reasoned. 

Makki closed the journal and returned it with a sigh. Mattsun knew Makki was frustrated. Hell, he was too, but fighting blindly or ruining the trust between them and Oikawa is not the way to handle this. Strategize and fight smart. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi entered the room just as Makki closed the drawer. 

“Hey guys!” Oikawa came cheerfully. “So, what do you guys want to do? I’m pretty much done packing.” 

“Let’s grab some drinks!” Mattsun answered with a grin. 

The four of them sat at a table in a quiet restaurant. Apparently 6pm on a Thursday isn’t a popular time. That was fine by them, though.  
Iwa and Oikawa sat on one side together while Makki and Mattsun took the other side. The conversations have ranged anywhere from dreams and goals they all have to what Oikawa is looking forward to most to reminiscing on embarrassing childhood memories between Iwa and Oikawa. The table roared with laughter during Iwa’s telling of Oikawa at their first volleyball match together. 

“He made him sign WHAT?!” Makki screamed through laughter. 

“It was CLEAN MAKKI! UNUSED!” Oikawa yelled across the table. “You always do that, Iwa. Stop leaving that part out! Makes me sound like a creep.” 

Iwaizumi grinned as he looked down; one hand on his glass of beer and the other giving Oikawa’s thigh a squeeze. Oikawa’s body went stiff. He didn’t expect Iwa to show any physical affection in public, especially in front of the meme team. 

“What’s wrong with you two? It’s like you both saw a ghost or something,” Makki joked and downed the rest of his drink. 

Neither of them noticed, thank God, Iwa thought, but I can’t sit here and act like I didn’t just do that out of pure instinct. “I’m going to run to the restroom,” Iwa said as he excused himself from the table. 

Oikawa waited until Iwa was around the corner before leaving the table with the same excuse.  
He opened the door and saw Iwa standing over the sink, both of his hands gripping the sides so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. “Iwa? Are you okay?” Oikawa asked softly while closing the door behind him. 

Iwa didn’t hesitate. He moved over to where Oikawa stood, pressed him against the door, and kissed him. “Oikawa, I’m sorry- for doing that- out there in front of them. I don’t know what came over me. It was so natural.”

“Oh, Iwa, I don’t think they noticed, and it doesn’t bother me,” Oikawa grinned, “but I do think it will be suspicious if we take much longer in here.”

“You’re the one who followed me!”

Oikawa snickered, “Because I wanted to see how flustered you were.”

Iwa grabbed the other’s hand and placed it on his chest above his heart. Oikawa could feel every pump beating like a drum within his body. “Wow. I do that to you?”

Iwa grew red in the face, “Yeah…apparently.” 

“Well, I’m going to go back out there. I don’t want Makki and Mattsun getting the wrong idea. Get yourself together, Iwa.”

“So? How was the bathroom?” Makki questioned as Oikawa sat back down. 

“Good,” Oikawa answered as he brought his drink to his mouth. “So what do you guys want to do after this? It’s still early!” he asked changing the subject. 

“There’s another bar a couple blocks down! They have a dance floor too. I think that would be fun,” Mattsun exclaimed brightly. 

“That actually sounds fun. It’s been a while since I went out dancing,” Oikawa said as he waved a waiter over to close out his tab. 

Iwaizumi walked over to the table, slid close to Oikawa, and whispered in his ear. “I saw that guy.” 

Oikawa’s eyes grew big and Makki became suspicious. “Secrets don’t make friends, ya know,” his voice filled with annoyance. 

“I think it best we keep this secret to ourselves, Makki. I hope you understand,” Iwa said sternly. 

“It’s not like I wanted to know about the fellatio in the bathroom anyway,” Makki responded as he rolled his eyes and mimed a gag response and giggled to himself. 

Mattsun joined in laughter as he turned to the others. “Let’s get out of here and go dancing. I think Makki is just getting jealous.”

“I just want them to admit it! Just say it already! We are your friends too!” Makki’s voice growing intense. He really doesn’t like being kept in the dark about things. 

Oikawa’s nerves were on end. Iwa could feel aggravation rising up at the constant questioning. Mattsun sat wide-eyed waiting for someone to say something or break the tension somehow. 

“You’re right, Makki. Now let’s leave it at that, okay?” Iwa whispered loud enough for him to hear.  
Oikawa’s eyes grew wide as his jaw dropped. He looked to Makki and Mattsun to see them both staring in disbelief at Iwa’s confession. He actually just said that, Oikawa thought. 

“Alright, let’s get out of here!” Oikawa’s sing-song voice broke the silence. 

“What do you mean you saw that guy? The ONE??” Oikawa whispered as Makki and Mattsun walked in front of them.

“I- I think so. It looked like him. Black everything. I stepped out to take a call and saw him walking by. I don’t think he noticed me, but he’s around here.”

“Shit,” Oikawa cursed. 

The bar actually had a decent crowd already. After ordering drinks, they found a spot to sit and the tension found a nice place at the table in front of them. Makki took a deep breath, “I can’t believe this! Well, I mean I can, BUT WHAT?! Cheers guys!” He raised his glass up as Mattsun joined him, followed by Oikawa, and Iwa lastly with hesitation. “You two really deserve each other. There isn’t anyone else who can put up with Oikawa like you, Hajime.” 

“Hey! He pushes my buttons too, Makki! It’s not just me,” Oikawa argued. 

“I agree with Makki,” Mattsun came calmly as he sat his drink down on the table and looked up at Oikawa to give him a wink. 

Hours had passed, but it only felt like minutes. The four of them were lost in the lights and music and completely surrounded by other people dancing. Makki and Mattsun decided to break out some hip hop dance moves and challenge each other while Oikawa and Iwaizumi stood back and watched in amazement. “I had no idea they could-“ Iwa started. “Me either!” Oikawa interrupted drunkenly. “Hey, you’ve been nursing that same drink for a while now. Finish it! Chug, chug, chug!” Oikawa started chanting. 

“Oikawa, stop. I don’t want to get drunk tonight.”

“Aww. Why? You’re fun when you’re drunk,” Oikawa pouted.

Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa and placed his hands on either side of his face. “Because I want to remember everything.” He pulled him in and kissed him in the middle of the dance floor. He didn’t care who saw. “Plus, someone is going to need to take care of you, drunky,” Iwa joked. 

Oikawa stumbled to Iwa and nuzzled the crook of his neck in a drunken stupor. Iwa instinctively placed his hand on the small of Oikawa’s back and grabbed his shoulder to help steady him. They both laughed. “I’m going to run to the restroom. I’ll be right back,” Oikawa said as he walked away.  
“Do you need help?!” Iwa called.  
“No! I’ve got it!” Oikawa shouted as he walked backwards and stumbled into a random person behind him. “Oh, sorry,” Oikawa frantically apologized and looked up at Iwa across the dance floor and gave him a shoulder shrug. Then, he disappeared. 

Iwa motioned to Makki and Mattsun that he was going to go back and sit down at the table. He sank into the seat and stared at the ceiling lost in his thoughts.  
Have I really always been attracted to him? There’s something about this dork that lures me in, and I can’t do anything to stop it. It’s nice to be close to my competitor as well. We are always pushing each other to be the best versions of ourselves…I love him. 

The men’s restroom wasn’t crowded surprisingly. Oikawa stood over the sink wishing the nausea away. Oh, nope, here it comes, he thought. He rushed to a stall and heaved into the toilet. After he finished, he walked back over to the sink and rinsed his mouth out with water and began washing his hands. There’s no way I got THIS drunk, he thought. When did I become such a light weight? The door opened to the room. Thank god I got that out before I had an audience, he thought with his eyes still on his hands in the sink. 

“Glad to have you alone,” an unfamiliar voice came. 

Oikawa didn’t pay any attention to who said it or who it was being said to. Clearly it wasn’t towards him. 

“Not going to acknowledge me, then?”

There’s no way someone is talking to me, Oikawa thought as he turned around. It’s him.  
Oikawa rushed for the door, and the man grabbed the back of his shirt in his fist and swung him to the wall. 

“What the fuck did I do to you?” Oikawa asked with fear in his voice. 

The man didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled out a small switchblade from his hoodie pocket and made it clear to Oikawa what his intentions were. 

“Please. Please. Stop. I don’t want any trouble. Please,” Oikawa pleaded as he tried to remove the guy’s hand from his collar. 

“You should have thought about that before. MY GIRLFRIEND LEFT ME BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU FUCKING SCUM. This world needs less people like you in it. So I’m here to do my job,” the man replied with a wild look in his eyes. A wide smile painted his expression. 

Before Oikawa could fight back, the blade plunged into his side, and he immediately lost his breath. 

“Stop. Please. I didn’t do anything.”

Fist met cheek. Oikawa couldn’t feel the left side of his face. He could only feel it throbbing from the force unleashed on it, however. The guy let go of Oikawa’s collar and Oikawa doubled over to the bathroom floor. His eyes filled with tears, his lung barely able to function, and blood oozing from his mouth. 

“What do you want? I’ll do anything. What do you want?” Oikawa coughed as he closed his eyes and grimaced in pain. He swung his arm up in surrender. 

Silence. 

“I want you to DIE!” With the last word, he swung his foot as hard as he could into Oikawa’s ribcage.  
All the air escaped Oikawa. His vision went black. Is this what death is like, he asked himself. Is this how it happens? I can’t fight back. Am I this pathetic? 

The bathroom door opened and Oikawa heard Iwa’s voice. He sounded far away like he was underwater. 

Iwa stood there in shock at the horrific scene. Blood pooled on the floor, Oikawa in the fetal position, and this fucker standing over him. 

“Hey!” Iwa yelled and the man pushed passed him knocking Iwa into one of the stall doors as he fled from the scene. 

Iwa rushed over to Oikawa. “Oikawa!? Oikawa! Can you hear me!?” Iwa screamed while trying to bring Oikawa back to consciousness. 

Mattsun walked in and his eyes immediately widened. “Oh shit. What happened?!”

“Stay here with Oikawa. Get him to talk to you and call the police. I’m going to go find that guy.” Iwa quickly got to his feet and rushed out of the bathroom. Where did he go? The hallway was dark, but there was an employee exit at the end of it. That way. Iwa ran to the door and flung it open just in time to see the guy running down a back alleyway and turning a corner. Iwa started sprinting towards him as fast as he could before realizing what he was doing. He turned the corner and- 

*gun shot*

“Oikawa, talk to me. Please!” Mattsun pleaded. “Hi, YES! My friend is hurt. He’s been stabbed. I don’t know! Please get here…”

Oikawa could hear Mattsun, but he couldn’t say anything. Iwa. Where did Iwa go? Why isn’t he here? A rush of adrenaline flowed through Oikawa and he placed his palms on the ground to push himself up. Why am I so heavy? Oikawa forced his arms to push. His breath came shallow. 

“Oikawa stay down. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Mattsun cried. 

“I- Iwa,” Oikawa breathed. 

Mattsun tucked his phone between his ear and shoulder and carefully placed his other shoulder under Oikawa to support him. I know he won’t stop until he sees Iwa. He will kill himself, fucking stubborn bastard, Mattsun thought.  
They stumbled over to the bathroom door just as Makki opened it. 

“What in the actual fuck-“

“We have to find Iwa. He ran out after the guy who did this,” Mattsun said as he motioned to Oikawa. “Here take my phone and stay on the line with the police. I’m going to lay him down.”

Mattsun carefully wrapped his arms around Oikawa and slowly lowered him to the ground. Oikawa winced in pain from the movement. I have to get to Iwa, Oikawa thought. I have a bad feeling. Oikawa rolled over to his stomach. I’m hurt far worse than I thought. I can’t stop now. He pushed his body up to his knees and struggled to stand up. He couldn’t stand straight; the pain was overwhelming.  
“OIKAWA!” Makki cried. 

“Lay back down, Oikawa! I’ll go find Iwaizumi,” Mattsun pleaded. 

Oikawa stumbled down the hall; one hand on the wall and one holding his side as he hunched over. His vision was similar to looking through a kaleidoscope with how everything was hazy and dancing on their own. He was desperate. Any strength he had, he was going to use it all. He reached the door and pushed until he felt the cold breeze on his face. Iwa, where are you? 

Oikawa heard soft cries coming from somewhere nearby. He followed the noise. Please be okay Iwa, he repeated to himself. 

Mattsun and Makki rushed to join an unsteady Oikawa in the dark only to be met with horror. 

Iwaizumi laid with his back against the brick wall, his hands pressed firmly on the left side of his chest, and his eyes stared up to the sky. His breathing was rushed and shallow. He pulled his hands away to assess how bad he was wounded only to see a trail of blood pump out with his heart beat. I’m fucked, he thought. The bullet must have hit something major. There’s no way I’m making it before a medical professional arrives.  
He looked up to see Oikawa crashing to the ground next to him and Mattsun and Makki standing there in disbelief. 

“Oikawa?!” Iwa shouted in panic. He’s hurt badly, Iwa realized. The thing about Oikawa is that he would never truly let you know how far he’s pushing himself, if it’s past his breaking point. 

“The cops and ambulances are on the way, Iwa. Hang in there. Both of you,” Mattsun begged with tears in his eyes. He and Makki kneeled on the cold ground beside Iwa.

“Hajime, I’m so sorry,” Oikawa cried as he pulled himself closer to Iwa. His breaths were coming incredibly shallow and fast paced.  
Neither of us are going to make it, he thought. Iwaizumi grabbed the back of Oikawa’s head and pushed their foreheads together, “I love you, Tooru. I’ve always loved you, and I always will,” Iwa said as he pulled Oikawa into the crook of his neck. 

“I’m yours, Hajime,” Tooru whispered. 

“And I’m yours, Tooru. I’ll go wherever with you,” Iwa coughed and blood splattered his sleeve. Fuck, I don’t have much time, he thought. 

“I feel really sleepy, Iwa,” Oikawa said gritting his teeth. 

Shit, he doesn’t have long either. FUCK. “What’s the first thing you want to do when we get to Argentina? Iguazu Falls? Go check out Patagonia? Beach volleyball?” Iwa asked trying to keep Oikawa awake. 

“I want to go to Ushuaia with you.”

“Ushuaia,” Iwa laughed, “What’s that?”

“End of the World,” Oikawa breathed.

“Not to be the bearer of bad news, but I think we are already there, baby,” Iwa replied with tears in his eyes. He looked up to meet eyes with his friends sitting in front of him and Oikawa. They were both in shambles. Rightfully so. Witnessing something like this is traumatic. Doesn’t help that it’s only going to get worse. Iwa could feel death’s warmth grazing his shoulders. Trying its best to coax him into the comfort of letting go. 

“Oi-“ Iwa tried to whisper his name, but nothing would come out. His strength was dwindling.  
Iwa lowered Oikawa into his lap. Even with the bruising already appearing on the left side of his face, the blood drying from his nose and mouth, Oikawa looked so peaceful. He’s gone. Iwa’s eyes filled until his vision was blurred and a wave a euphoria rushed up his spine. I don’t feel any pain, he thought. It was warm. The environment shifted to black with a light in the distance. Iwa walked until he was surrounded by the warm rays. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. It felt nice to be able to breathe again. He opened his eyes to see Oikawa standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking water reflecting the blue sky above. Iwa walked up and laced his fingers with Oikawa’s, “What is this place?”

“Ushuaia,” Oikawa answered as he looked to Iwaizumi with soft brown eyes and a kind smile. He looked so angelic, Iwa thought. 

Iwa grinned, “End of the world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being patient with me during this writing process and sticking around until the end. I love you all! Maybe the next one will be soft and fluffy. Who knows?

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I DIED laughing while writing Matsukawa and Hanamaki's shitfaced entrance at the end. More to come!


End file.
